re-postat dupa Chocollat
* POWER METAL The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
* THRASH METAL The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
* HEAVY METAL The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
* FOLK METAL The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave…….. without the princess.
* VIKING METAL The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
* DEATH METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
* BLACK METAL The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.
* GORE METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her.Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
* GRIND METAL The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves…
* DOOM METAL The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sad story.
* GOTHIC METAL The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duett by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell’s eternity.
* PROGRESSIVE METAL The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess’ bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the ‘HEAVY METAL’ protagonist.
* INDUSTRIAL METAL The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes anobscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
* SPEED METAL Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someones screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she’s been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.
* CHRISTIAN METAL The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to “thank” the protagonist he replies, “sorry, but I don’t believe in having sex before marriage.”
* GLAM METAL The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.
* BATTLE METAL The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.
* NU METAL The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
40 comments:
=)) cred ca folk metal ii cel mai tare :))
neah, Gothic, Progressive si Speed Metal is cele mai faine, my opinion :))
toate is misto pana la urma, da' mie imi placea ala ca era fara "fucks the princess" :))
pai si in Grind si Christian Metal nu se vede cuvantul 'fucks' :)) o fi sub-genuri mai puritane :P
no bine, dar mie dintre alea care nu-l contineau pe "fucks" sau pe alte forme ale acestuia :)) folk mi-a placut cel mai mult :P
daca nu gresesc, exista parca o firma care produce condimente, sosuri, maioneze numita 'Fuchs'; sa-nteleg ca nu o sa le cumperi niciodata produsele? :))
=)) =))
am lucrat la firma aia un an si ceva :P
ba da, au condimente chiar bune :D si 'u'-ul ala are doua puncte de-alea deasupra, deci ii diferit de verb :P
unbelievable :))
eu ziceam ca si pronuntie, deci un omofon
pai la aia ma refeream si eu cand ziceam de accentul de pe 'u', ca se pronunta altfel :P
ca un 'u' normal, fara accent :))
yeah, boss, but daca e cum zici tu, atunci nu mai e omofon, iar de omograf nici nu poate fi vorba; so what the bloody hell is it then? :))
:)) aaaaaiiii... nu-i nimic. doar se scriu la fel, in afara de blestematul ala de 'u'. ii un pilaf :))
bleah, blasfemie :)) se stie ca studentii fac cel mai bun pireu :P
:)) pai nu stii ca trebuie sa mananci de toate ca sa fii sanatos? :-w
eu stiam ca trebuie sa mananci cumpatat :))
8-| cate putin din toate
pana ni se apleaca :))
complicata treaba :))
un-complicate it then :P
nu ma obosesc :))
acuma te pomeni ca ti si lene :))
cam da :">
interesant. cum ati ajuns de la muzica la mancare=))
hmm, gandirea trece prin stomac ?! :))
intreab-o pe Mada :P
no way 8-|
pai.. de la "fucks the princess" la condimentele fucks.. si tot asa.. :P
mno, cred ca era cu 'ch' in loc de 'ck' :P
:))) cam da :D
nuuu, damn it! m-am molipsit de la tine cu corecturile astea gramaticale; darn, u'r contagious, woman :))
dai un vaccin!=))
;;) ce bine-mi pare ;;)
ce vaccin, ciupy? :))
mie, ca-s contagioasa :))
aia am inteles, duh! :P
intrebarea era ce fel de vaccin :))
api aia nu tu ar trebui sa stii? :))
pai, iti dai seama ca daca nici macar eu nu stiu :)) cine stie ce stie ciupy? :))
pai nu vrea sa ne impartaseasca, tine numa' pentru el :>
parca se considera un om darnic, citez 'ii ajut pe toti' :))
deci daca stai asa mult sa te gandesti la ce vaccin inseamna ca te gandesti la prostii. poti face un fel de vaccin castana cum primea louie de la grunwal(sau cum l'o fi chemand). poti sa faci un vaccin anti-perfectionare. eh, aici nu te pot ajuta cu compozitia, dar n'ai vrea sa iei premiu nobel pe munca mea nu?:))
mai poti face un vaccin verbal: "bata'te norocu cu corecturile tale!"
variantele's nelimitate:))
asa, asa, stiam eu ca esti bunul samaritean :))
si imaginatia debordanta a lui Ciupy si-a spus cuvantul din nou :))
bis, maestre, bis :))
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